One step forward, two steps back. It's a way people commonly describe the feeling of slow, daunting uphill progress, which always seems to slip back to the status quo. The past few months have been rough.
My books got delivered and I finished fulfilling all of the Kickstarter rewards and other pre-orders. I was really excited about Inktober and creating art and sharing it, as well as promoting my book.
I tore my calf.
I found out my 3 year old dog has cataracts and is in the early stages of glaucoma.
Work has been overwhelming, exhausting and to be quite frank, disappointing.
And, drum-roll, just in time for the holidays... my (extended) family is falling apart.
The world seems to be programmed to kick us when we're down. But, we get back up. A little worn and a little weathered and a hell of a lot more skeptical about those who we surround ourselves with.
I've been pretty absent from social media lately, because despite however much we fool ourselves, it's not real life. I've done this a couple of times in recent years, just taking a step back to recover and collect myself. I come back each time, a little less devoted to sharing. A little more guarded and private, but still putting bits and pieces of myself out there, attempting to garner an audience.
I've gotten to the point where I really only post interesting science or art related curated content, photos of my animals and my own art. I rarely share anything personal, because it's personal and will remain so. In fact, this blog post in an of itself teeters that line of sharing something personal, and will likely be the last time I feel I need to offer up an explanation of my absence into the void that is the internet of things.
The point of all this rambling being, that I'm admitting I haven't been very committed to my art lately, and rightly so, but I am trying to muster the ability to get out of my slump and step back into the oh so vain social media spotlight. Namely because, no one is going to do it for me.
So, if you find yourself in a similar situation, don't be afraid to step back and self-heal. The world is arduous and cruel, and you can't take it on and save the day broken and exhausted.